Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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