I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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