Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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