Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
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you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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