Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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