Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize