i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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