it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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