I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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