SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
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My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
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I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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