I want to stick my p in your. b.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize