covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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