in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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