I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
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