I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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