are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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