she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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