I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize