my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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