I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
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it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
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When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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