He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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