why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize