I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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