Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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