my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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