Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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