Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
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Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
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In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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