Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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