I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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