Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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