Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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