The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
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I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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