this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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