What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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