4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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