You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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