I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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