Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Text me some of your sweat
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