no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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