She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
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I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
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How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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