Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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