wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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