Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize