You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize