I showed him my bush... on skype.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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