Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize