Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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