thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
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They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
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My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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