fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
you made out with another girl for some wings
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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