There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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